This morning after our 7am Crossfit session, I sat at home with Dave enjoying our 2nd Coffee of the day together. Obviously with our iPhones in hand doing our usual morning catch up on FB and Insta Notifications.
Lone to my surprise, FB presented me with a memory that 1 year ago TODAY I announced to the social media world I was setting up my first Style Blog and Styling Business.
And when thinking about what I would write and say……
I thought about the days I’ve loved it, doubted it, deleted a post because it didn’t get enough likes, cringed at myself, surprised myself, believed in myself, bought clothes and sent them back just so I could get a good outfit pic. Ah some of the funny stories are endless.
But then it hit me…..
The real story I should tell but just haven’t been ready or had the confidence to. And in some ways you wonder if it’s even of interest or necessary to tell.
But there is no better day than today to share the REAL reason I completely changed career from Fitness to Fashion and took the dive to set up a Style blog and business.
So what the hell, here it goes. If it helps just one person and let’s my followers know just a little more of the real me then it’s worth while sharing.
People ALWAYS ask me how the hell I went from the Fitness to Fashion business in the space of a year.
Although I’ve always loved Fashion and Make up, it’s still a huge left turn.
The truth is….. My career change came from a huge personal transformation after going to see a lovely lady who was a professional counsellor every month for 18 months.
Yes you heard me right, it’s all thanks to Therapy!
Around the age of 28 I started to suffer with Anxiety, it gradually got so bad to the point I almost sabotaged everything good around me.
To the outside world I was peachy holding it all together and behind closed doors I started to break down. Finally realising something wasn’t right, I went to seek help.
I finally had to face 16 years of grief that I’d buried so deep after losing my Mum to terminal Cancer at just 12 years old.
It finally all came bubbling up to the surface and I could no longer hold the lid down.
All my adult life people told me I was amazing, strong and was doing so well for myself “considering” what I’d been through.
And the truth is I was just emotionally numb and getting on until 16 years of it hit me in one go.
It was the hardest 18 months of my life, you feel like you break down every part of you in that room and rebuild yourself from scratch again.
But facing your past is worth every single minute for the rest of your happier future.
Holding on to grief can literally change who you are as a person and not for the better.
Only when you let go does the real you start to shine bright again.
During the course of my counselling over the months, as my mind started clearing the clutter of anger, sadness and anxiety….. Wasted negative thoughts and energy.
I started to make more and more space in my head for good things, my creative side also started to come back out and flourish.
As I finally let go of my grief and worked on myself, I also let go of the “Grieving Helenlee”.
It sounds crazy to say this and talk about yourself in the third person but I feel like my career in Fitness went with her too.
I was always very artistic and creative as a child. After losing my Mum who always nurtured my creativity and then continuing to grow up with 3 fitness fanatic men in my house I became a product of my environment.
When you go through such a huge personal transformation in life, there can be many other things to let go of and one for me among many other things was my career.
I still LOVE Fitness and it is a huge part of my life but just a personal part for me now.
Around the time my Therapist told me I was ready to leave and move on with my life without her help, I was approaching 30.
It sounds cliche but as I hit the big 30 I really did find and truly accept myself, however they put it.
I honestly believe that a career change or any big move in life comes from a big change or shift in the person.
At least that was the case for me.
I then explored my love for Fashion, Style and Make up further. It was such an exciting time and Journey. I did at home courses, took on a part time Stylist jobs at Karen Millen around running the gym with Dave.
And soon realised that the job I REALLY dreamed of, didn’t exist on an application form.
I had to create it myself.
So I did!!
Before long Dave was running the business without me and I was on my new Journey.
It takes confidence and belief in yourself to take such a leap.
And I honestly believe that putting myself out there on social media in a new career was far better and wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t worked on my mental health.
Being comfortable and happy with yourself mentally makes all the difference.
Social media can be used in a very negative way and has a lot to answer for in terms of mental health, especially Instagram. It makes me sad to hear that Instagram contributes the most to Teenage depression issue’s.
Although I absolutely love what I do or at least what I’m trying to do and achieve, I would say blogging can take a lot out of people mentally. It can make you be really hard, judgemental or doubting of yourself.
Having a stronger frame of mind, self belief or being more accepting of yourself I believe is what makes the difference between the people who will quit and keep going.
And I’m just getting started!
Now I’m not saying I’m fixed, perfect or have it all mentally figured out, it’s always an on going journey. You have to constantly work on yourself and look after your mental health.
But if you’re thinking of setting up a blog or are someone suffering with grief or mental health issue’s, I really hope this story has been a worth while read for you.
Everyone goes through grief at some point in their life and so many people don’t realise how much it can affect their mental well being.
I’m not even sure if many of my family or friends even know this story, I’ve not hid it but I guess it’s not something that just comes up at the dinner table.
Well, writing this today has made me smile, cringe, cry and most of all feel a little naked lol. But I’m so grateful to be in a place to share it with you all.
So thank you so much for taking the time to read this and thank you to everyone who follows my blog.
And most of all the biggest thank you goes to my Fiance Dave, who has been my rock through every single step of the story above with me, I definitely haven’t took this journey alone.
He will definitely make a good Insta Husband!
Having the right support network from friends and family around you certainly counts. Surround yourself with good positive people.
Thanks again for reading lovelies.
If this story has helped you in anyway, I’d love to hear your comments below.
Sharing is caring….
Lots of Love H xxx
P.S. I’m celebrating 1 year of Blogging with CHIPPY CHIPS YAAAAS!